New years resolution

I’ve always found it comforting to think about the new year as a final end to the time that’s past.  Being a perfectionist, it’s been difficult for me to stop thinking about past mistakes, errors in judgements, or just not living up to expectations that I precieve that others have of me.   I always found comfort in the thought that the new year brought an opportunity to leave all of that behind.  The new year is a time to reflect over what has past, and make a resolution to recognize your weaknesses but take action to improve yourself for your own benefit and also for the benefit of the people in your life.

There are always the common standards that come up.  This year I’ll go on a diet and lose that extra baby fat…  This year, I’ll start exercising regularly…  This year I’ll eat healthier…  This year I’ll floss every day…  This year I’ll keep my house neat and tidy… Those are all nobel and worthwhile goals, but I’m starting to recognize that they are only things on the surface, and I don’t really think that they work as a new year’s resolution. 

As I was reflecting over the past year I was thinking about what my new years resolution should be.  And as I was ponering this thought, my perfectionistic tendencies surfaced and I realized what my new years resolution must be:

1)  I resolve to always strive to be the best me that I can be in all of my identities (mother, wife, daughter, aunt, friend, artist, photographer, programmer, house keeper, and bridge player).

2)  I resolve to be good to myself and not be critical or judgemental *when* (not if) I slip up on resolution #1.

3)  I resolve to take time for myself to do the things I love and am passionate about.

4)  I resolve to remember that life is not perfect — people are not perfect — everyone makes mistakes.  It’s okay to not be perfect.  It’s more than okay — it’s expected.

5)  I once heard a wise man say “you wouldn’t worry so much about what others think about you when you realize how little they actually do”.  My final resolution is to remember that fact when I am worried about how I am perceived by others.  Recognize my feelings for what they are — my inner voice telling me that it is not happy with my behaviour.  I resolve to figure out what my inner voice is trying to tell me, and take the necessary steps to resolve the inner conflict so my judgemental, critical voice can be silenced for good.